Kiss the Girl
by Sun-Tsu Toriden
Summary: Shepard and Liara's anniversary is coming up, and Garrus has a plan. A plan that involves a fancy restaurant, some willing conspirators, and a microphone. Takes place in the Normandy Entertainment universe, with all of those pairings. Update: Now with other characters singing songs that show their true feelings coming to light. Rated T for minor sexual references.
1. Kiss the Girl

**June 14 2189 (7 days to go)**

The entire crew of the Normandy, save the Commander and Liara, met in secret on the lower decks.  
"Is everything ready?" asked Garrus.  
"Yes," came the reply from the shadow that was Kasumi Goto. "Between myself and EDI we've managed to find out what Shep and Liara are preparing for next week. Our plan should go off without a hitch."  
"Excellent, they'll never know what hit them. Is everyone clear on their assignments then?" There was a general nodding of heads. There was no need to say it out loud, just in case. Shepard and Liara would have their heads mounted next to the galaxy map if they knew what their crew was planning.

* * *

**June 16 2189 (5 days to go)**

Shepard stretched as she woke up, giving her pleasant moans that accompanied the movement, disturbing her bondmate sleeping next to her.  
"Mmm, good morning," the asari mumbled, lazily manoeuvring herself into position to give Shepard a light kiss.  
"And to you my darling. So, excited about next week?"asked Illyria as she stood up and stretched some more.  
"Yes, very much," replied Liara, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she stood as well. Shepard could stop herself staring at the way the light from the fish tank played so delightfully over Liara's naked form. Her mouth hung open, still trying to believe that the asari was her bondmate, signified by the matching woven bracelets each of them wore on their wrists.

Liara noticed shepard staring at her, so she stretched her arms over her head and arched her back slightly, teasing Illyria with the way that move accentuated her naked breasts.  
"Something on your mind, my love?" she asked coyly.  
"Just wondering how I managed to end up with such a ravishing beauty as you," replied Illyria, hands tracing Liara's sides, feather-light touches driving the asari to distraction.  
"So," Liara said, dropping her arms and pinning Illyria's hands to her side. "Do you think they suspect anything?"  
"The crew? They probably do, but what they suspect and what they can prove are two entirely different things." Illyria looked deeply into Liara's blue eyes. "Right now though, can we just keep it between us? I kind of like the fact that I can finally have a secret of my own to reveal to them, rather than the other way around."Her hands began stroking Liara's body, making the asair gasp slightly. "Besides, I think you're talking far too much for someone who just woke up."  
"Oh, and do you think you have a way to fix that?"  
"I just might," replied Shepard with a mischievous grin.

She wasn't about to tell Liara, because it would cause her to melt with embarrassment and then kill Illyria, but her human lover had finally gotten around to looking at some of the material Aethyta had given them just before their honeymoon. And now, Shepard was very interested to see just how much would work on Liara. They both fell back onto the bed, kissing each other passionately while their hands roamed over naked flesh.

A few minutes later, the entire ship could hear the echoes of Liara reaching the high notes.

* * *

**June 20 (1 day to go)**

The crew convened once again in secret. There was only one day left to go, but the plan needed to change. Even though it was risky, and it decreased the chances it would work to their advantage, Shepard and Liara had forced their hand. Dr Chakwas had called the meeting, saying there was something important about the targets that needed to be considered.

"Karin, what's the new information?" asked Garrus, the unofficial leader of their plan. He'd come up with it, and convinced the crew individually to join in on it. But if it was discovered before it was executed, then he would receive the brunt of the punishment.  
"Well, I don't have to tell you that whatever Shepard has discovered, Liara is certainly enjoying it," replied the Doctor.  
"Yeah, I just want to know what it is!" exclaimed Joker. "I mean, if the Commander is holding out on the secret to pleasing women like that, then... well, let's just say I feel better about what we're planning for tomorrow."  
"Jeff's comment notwithstanding, whatever Shepard is doing to her bondmate is causing significant stress on her vocal chords. She's been coming to me, and in my capacity as a doctor I have been treating it, but since they haven't actually stopped the source, I can only slow the symptoms."

There was an audible snore from Jack, the most irritable and volatile of the crew in on the plan.  
"Could you get to the point Doc?"  
"Very well, at the current rate, Liara will completely lose her voice tomorrow." Everyone's head jerked at that news.  
"Are you sure?" asked Traynor timidly. "Is it permanent?"  
"I'm sure. And thankfully, it won't cause any permanent damage. In fact, it'll probably be good for her in the long run, once her throat adjusts. But for tomorrow at least, she will be completely unable to speak." There was a mass breakout of smiles among those gathered.

"Well, I think we all know what that means. The plans goes ahead, we just need to tweak a few details," said Garrus. He brought up his omni-tool and scanned it for a moment, before coming across what he was looking for. He sent the information through to all their omni-tool so they could read it in private. "Alright, I've sent through the new information and how we're going to use this to our advantage. You all have your assignments for tomorrow, though we won't get a chance to practice. So let's go out there and break a leg!"

* * *

**June 21 ( Go Time)**

Illyria had been on the verge of cancelling all day. Liara's voice was completely gone, so her plan to sing her favourite duet with her partner tonight was totally ruined. But Liara had been adamant, if completely silent, as she argued that today was special, and they had been planning it for months now. So if the only change was that Illyria would be singing solo tonight instead of a duet, then so be it. Nothing was going to stop their anniversary date short of Liara dropping into a coma, and even then only maybe.

So it was that the two of them, dressed in their finest, turned up for their reservation at Sky Blue, one of the fanciest, fashionable and less crowded restaurants on Nevos. It was one of the only fine dining places that had a live band most nights, but the music was never loud or overpowering. It was always impeccably tasteful, and tonight there was a single drell gently crooning away, fingers tinkling the keyboard of the grand piano. Illyria and Liara sat down, soaking in the atmosphere and enjoying their anniversary dinner.

* * *

Unnoticed by the couple, their every move was being closely watched. If they had been looking at the right place at the right time, they would have seen the glint of reflected light off a pair of binoculars. Binoculars being held in a pair of turian talons.  
"Eyes on target, they have entered the restaurant. Is everyone in position?" he received a chorus of affirmative responses. "Good, I'm moving into position. Kasumi, I need you to keep an eye on them."  
"Copy that, I have eyes on. Awaiting go order." Garrus nodded at the setup of a brilliant plan, and then moved to get himself into position.

He walked up to the alley entrance of the restaurant and tapped on the manager's window. He'd arranged to meet here several minutes earlier, but had trouble getting across without being seen by Shepard or Liara. As he waited he hoped that the manager hadn't gone elsewhere, but soon enough the door was opened and the asari owner welcomed him inside.  
"Thank you. I hope I can still count on your co-operation, Miss T'Nara," he said as he stepped inside.  
"Have no fear on that count. Your generous donation is all the thanks I need. Now, I've set you up in the red room. You'll find everything you requested in there. Now, I have to get back to my duties. I'll give you the signal when everything is ready."

She turned and walked a few steps away, before saying something over her shoulder.  
"I hope you're friends appreciate this," she said, before disappearing into through a door that lead to the restaurant proper. He walked over to the back door to let everyone else in, who were patiently waiting outside.  
"Alright, follow me into the red room. The manager will let us know when to proceed, but I've still got Kasumi out there keeping an eye on them. Everyone ready?"  
"As ready as we're ever going to be," complained Joker. "Let me in, I need to sit down." All of them filed in, except for Kasumi who was hiding in the restaurant itself, keeping an eye on their targets.

* * *

The meal itself was lovely, and the drell singer had even played their favourite song when he heard that there was an anniversary being celebrated. He thankfully didn't draw attention to them, because neither of them wanted the spotlight tonight. They lived their lives in the spotlight, tonight was just about being normal and blending in with everyone else, being normal people. As they waited for desert, the drell finished his set, and said he'd be back later.

Sheard smiled at Liara. Though she' hadn't said anything through the meal, her smile itself was enough for Illyria. They didn't get chances like this very often, they got mobbed by the press and their fans on almost every world they visited. They held their hands and just stared into each others' eyes for a moment, until they were broken out of the reverie by a waiter asking if they would care for dessert. The pair ordered the daily special, as the waiter had recommended it highly. What neither of them suspected is that their waiter was actually Galre T'Nara, the owner and manager and co-conspirator in Garrus' plot.

As soon as the manager left, Kasumi got on the line to Garrus.  
"They've just ordered dessert, and it looks like the manager is headed your way."  
"Copy that. Last chance to back out and spare yourselves the pain if this doesn't work," he said over the open channel. Silence was his only response until Tali spoke.  
"We're all in this together Vakarian, though we will of course push you to the front when Shepard is handing out the punishments." As she finished the door opened and T'Nara came in to inform them that it was go-time.

As their dessert, a layered cheesecake-like dish that glowed slightly with the addition of luminescent icing, was brought to them, all the houselights were turned down low. There was the suggestion of movement from the stage, though it was too dark to make it out.

"_Percussion_." The single word called across the restaurant from a deep bass voice on stage, currently in the dark. At the word, a single spotlight was turned on as a gentle bongo beat began to fill the air at the word. Shepard and Liara couldn't quite make out who was doing it, given the drastic change in light levels. They could make out a man in an impeccable tuxedo seated on a chair and playing the small drums, but the face was hidden behind a black fedora.  
"_Strings_." A second spotlight on the stage as a human woman in a floor length black dress cane into view, her dark olive arms holding an ancient wooden violin, her face temporarily obscured by the instrument as she began to coax out a gentle counter to the bongo beat.  
"_Winds_." A third spotlight opened, revealing another woman in a black dress, a much different style by still fitting with the trend as she began to play a flute, her red hair falling over her face and hiding it from the patrons.  
"_Words_," came the voice again, the spotlight turning on to reveal a turian in shiny black formal wear, a black fedora on his head as well. Now that she could see them all clearly, she could tell from the navy markings on the turian's face that it was Garrus, meaning that the rest of them on stage were Joker, Traynor and Kelly. She had a bad feeling about this, tonight was supposed to be just about Illyria and Liara.

_There you see her  
Sitting there across the way  
She don't got a lot to say  
But there's something about her  
And you don't know why  
But you're dying to try  
You wanna kiss the girl_

As much as Shepard wanted to give Garrus, and whoever was in on this plan with him, one hell of a punishment, he couldn't fault him on the song choice or the setup so far. They had kept Shepard out of it, and by the end of the first verse, Shepard was looking deeply into Liara's eyes, smiling a little as she saw the asari's cheeks darken and feeling her own reciprocating. The soft light emanating from their deserts only made her look more attractive to Illyria as she started to smile like a teenager at her first crush.

_Yes, you want her  
Look at her, you know you do  
It's possible she wants you, too  
There is one way to ask her  
It don't take a word  
Not a single word  
Go on and kiss the girl_

As he got into the second verse, Garrus began wandering though the tables, spending a little time at the ones were couples were obviously enjoying their evenings, sometimes standing behind the woman and looking over her shoulder at the partner, as if it was them he was doing it for. Shepard hardly even noticed when a pair of blue-flame candles appeared on her table, adding to the ethereal glow of Liara's beautiful face.

_Sing with me now  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
My, oh, my  
Look at the boy too shy  
He ain't gonna kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Ain't that sad  
Ain't it shame, too bad  
You gonna miss the girl_

As he got to the chorus, a more blue candles identical to the ones now on Shepard's table burst into life, each one held by one of the _Normandy_ crew dressed in tasteful black formal wear as they joined in as background singers. Then a soft blue highlight was shone down on them, singling them out. Illyria shot a quick look towards the lighting booth, and saw EDI at the controls, who smiled down at them. Now Garrus made no pretence about other couples, walking directly over to the two of them.

_Now's your moment  
Floating in a blue lagoon  
Boy, you better do it soon  
No time will be better  
She don't say a word  
And she won't say a word  
Until you kiss the girl_

The last line was almost a whisper, before he took off towards the centre of the stage for the final chorus. Shepard had initially felt rather angry with Garrus for this, but she couldn't deny he had hit the mood just right, because the whole restaurant seemed to be getting in with the vibe, there were a lot of very wide smiles. So she just took Liara's hand and watched as he built it up to the climax, now with Vega taking up a trumpet.

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't be scared  
You got the mood prepared  
Go on and kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't stop now  
Don't try to hide it how  
You wanna kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Float along  
Listen to the song  
The song say kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Music play  
Do what the music say  
You wanna kiss the girl_

As they finished the song, each of the _Normandy_ crew drew out a single rose and presented it to any couple they could reach, with the rest of them going to Illyria and Liara. Then they all hung around expectantly.  
"Fine Garrus, you win," muttered Illyria loud enough for him to hear. She stood up, taking Liara's hand and pulling her up as well, before embracing her tightly and giving her a passionate kiss. As they finally came up for air they felt the eyes of the entire restaurant on them, before there was an outpouring of applause. After a few minutes of this, Garrus tapped the microphone to get attention.

"Hey everyone, We'd just like to dedicate this song to two very good friends of ours. Liara, Illyria, you've been my best friends for years now, as well as a mentor, a shoulder to lean on and a kick in the ass when I needed it most. I look at the two of you together and I wonder if there is a more perfect love to be found in the galaxy. The way you two love each other is inspiring. So, on behalf of myself and the crew, I want to wish you both nothing but the best for the future. Happy Anniversary." This brought up another round of applause and another kiss between the happy couple.

"Good Evening all, I'm Garrus Vakarian, and tonight you all have the singular opportunity to be entertained by the cast of Normandy Entertainment. I'm sure that you've heard of us. We'll be here for a while, and we'll be taking requests. I might even be able to persuade our beneficent Commander here into joining me, how about that?" There was a cheer of enthusiastic agreement from the assembled patrons.


	2. Something Stupid

After the initial introduction number by Garrus, several of the crew took requests, while the rest of them were given some rooms backstage. After putting away her violin, Traynor went down the hall, her throat tight as she pushed open doors to find the person she was looking for. She found her after pushing open the third door, back to the hall and touching up her mascara. Though she still kept the sides shaven, she had let her black hair grow out on the top, and most days held it back in a long ponytail. Sam had to admit she loved running her fingers through the long, silky tresses, as well as the spiky contrast on the short parts. Tonight she had even consented to wearing the black dress, though hers showed considerably more skin then Sam's. Tranyor had to admit it was a little jarring seeing her without the leather jacket that had been her constant companion since Shepard had gotten her out of prison.

Samantha made a mental note to thank Shepard for that one day, before quietly closing the door behind her. Standing up straight at the sound of the latch, Jack was standing straight by the time Samantha crossed the floor and wrapped her arms around the former convict's waist. Nuzzling into her lover's neck, Samantha made a happy hum. Humming herself, Jack loosened Traynor's grip so she could face the woman holding her, before their lips met in a kiss. As they broke, Sam noticed that Jack's mascara had run a little.

"Jack... have you been crying?" she asked tenderly.  
"No!" Jack responded quickly out of habit. But then she remembered who she was talking to. "Maybe a little. I'm not one for big public displays of affection, but what Garrus did and said made me tear up a little. I came in here to fix my face before I showed it to anyone else."  
"Well, far be it for me to stop you making yourself look absolutely gorgeous," replied Sam, caressing Jack's cheek before planting another tender kiss on her lips. Jack turned around and went back to fixing her makeup in the mirror. Samantha wrung her hands nervously, because she wanted to broach something with Jack she was sure wouldn't go down well.

"Jack, can I ask you a question?"  
"Yeah, sure."  
"Why don't you tell anyone about us? Is it because you're ashamed of me? The spoiled little colony girl who isn't tough enough for the big bad ex-convict-" Jack turned around quickly and placed a silencing finger on Sam's lips.  
"No, never Sam, you know I don't think of you like that."  
"Then why?" Sam asked, tears starting to form in her eyes.  
"Because... because you were the first good thing I'd found in my life in a long time Sam. And I've had a hard time giving up old habits, like hiding anything good lest it be taken away from me. And maybe... fuck I hate saying this... maybe because I am ashamed. Not of you, never you, but of myself. The good-for-nothing criminal who would ruin the reputation of one of the most beautiful and wonderful people I've ever known if they knew we were together."

"Jennifer," Sam began. Jack's tears came back, because Sam only called her that when they were alone and intimate. "Jennifer, I love you, and after seeing that performance out there I don't care who knows it, and they can go to bloody hell if they don't like it!" She cupped Jack's cheek in her hand. "Because no matter what they think, they will never be able to take away the woman I know you are. To everyone else, you're Jack, hard as nail criminal who just happens to be a good songwriter. But to me you'll always be Jennifer, the woman who did what she had to survive the cruelty of the world, but was not killed. The woman who reached out from behind Jack to find love again, to love me. That's who I see when I look at you, and I wonder if it's time we let the other know she's still in there too." Jack let a few tears slide down her cheeks, ruining the fix she had been working on.  
"Fuck I love you Sam," she said, choking back sobs before embracing her tightly, head buried against a dark caramel shoulder. Sam held her back, stroking her back in a comforting manner.

After a few minutes of hugging and regaining composure, Jack took a deep inhale and pushed away enough to look into Sam's eyes.  
"I-I... I'm sorry Sam, but I can't tell them my real name, not tonight. I'm not ready for that." Sam looked down, disappointed, she made to move away, but Jack wouldn't let her go. "Hey, wait a sec. I said I'm not ready to come out to them as Jennifer, that's not something I can do. But you're right, I am tired of hiding our relationship from them."  
"What are you proposing then?"  
"Well, since everyone seems to be getting in on the singing love fest out there tonight, will you sing a duet with me?"  
"I'd love to Jack, what shall we sing?" as Jack leaned forward and whispered her idea into Samantha's ear, the darker-skinned woman smiled. "Perfect, I couldn't have picked a better one myself."

* * *

As Garrus and Tali stepped down from the stage after singing a totally cheesy rendition of _Can You Feel the Love Tonight_, they left the microphones in the sockets at the side. Jack immediately took one and handed another to Sam, before she stalked away to the other side through the backstage, but not before placing a quick peck on Jack's cheek. Jack moved over to the piano and slotted in the microphone, before picking out the tune with her fingers. EDI put a low blue spotlight on her as she closed her eyes and began to sing when she reached the right entry.

_I know I stand in line until you think you have the time  
To spend an evening with me  
And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance  
You won't be leaving with me  
And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two  
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"_

Jack sang it slowly, each word teasing out the heart and soul of the original crooner classic. As she came to the end of her verse, she opened her eyes again, looking fixedly at the other side of the stage. As she played the few bars before the entry of the second verse, Samantha stepped onto the stage, full of confidence after her partner's introduction of the song. EDI quickly turned on a yellow spotlight and focused it on Sam, who was now slowly treading the stage towards Jack at the piano as she came in with the second verse.

_I can see it in your eyes  
That you despise the same old lies you heard the night before  
And though it's just a line to you, for me it's true  
And never seemed so right before_

As she reached the piano halfway through her verse, she leaned back on it, before sitting up and laying down languorously over the polished black surface, her eyes now completely focus on Jack's. For her part, Jack was lucky that she knew this song so well, because between the melodious sound of her voice and how she was absolutely rocking the dress she was wearing, Jack was falling in love all over again. The two of them alternated the lines of the final verse as they sang together, their faces coming closer with each bar.

_I practice every day to find some clever lines to say  
To make the meaning come through  
But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you  
The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and, oh, the night's so blue  
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"_

Jack played a little bit on the piano until she reached the end of the piece, and both her and Samantha's voice entwined sang the final lyrical reprise.

_The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and, oh, the night's so blue  
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"_

As the song finished and the echoes of the final piano notes rang out through the silent crowd, Jack and Samantha stood up away from the piano, embraced tightly and shared a gentle, tender kiss. As they came up for air they finally could hear the roaring approval from the crowd, none clapping harder than Shepard and Liara, who had moved to the table closest to the stage. Jack held her microphone up to her lips, turning away from Sam for a moment, though still holding her hand.

"I'd like to dedicate this song to Samantha Traynor, the love of my life and my best friend, who showed me that sometimes it's okay to show your feelings." Not to be outdone, Sam stepped forward, microphone up as well.  
"I'd like to dedicate that song to Jack, a woman of many mysteries, none deeper than how she managed to steal my heart away." She turned back to Jack and kissed her again, this time far more passionately. Shepard called out from her chair, loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear.  
"Good for you, but either get a room or get singing. This is a family friendly establishment!" There was laughter as the crowd, now partly formed from the crew, heard what was said.

"Alright, since you asked so nicely," said Sam, with a pointed look and a poked tongue at Illyria. "Who wants some more Sinatra?" There were several yells to the affirmative from the audience.  
"Well, let's play it again Sam," said Jack with a smile, as she walked back over to the piano and her fingers tinkled out the beginning of Sinatra's _The Way You Look Tonight_. The duo ended up playing half a dozen songs before they handed over the microphones to Thane. But the two of them knew, as they headed back to the green room, that _Something Stupid_ would forever be their song.

* * *

**A/N: So, I'm not going to lie, I actually cried, physical tears were shed, as I was writing this chapter. Also, Something Stupid is one of my favourite love duets.**

**So, read and review. Also, if you have any favourite songs you think would sound good/funny/oh-god-my-sides-hurt-from-laughing-at-t he-ridiculousness when sung by certain characters, then please let me know. They may not all be set at this anniversary dinner, but they'll still be funny.**


	3. Am I Blue?

Samara sat at one of the tables alone, watching and listening in silence as the various crew sang whatever song filled their hearts. After Jack and Samantha's stirring declaration of their relationship, Samara felt her hand reaching unconsciously for the locket she wore. Before she realised she had done it, the small metal pendant was free from under her clothes, in her hand and waiting to be opened. She looked down at it almost as if it was something alien to her, wondering whether enough time has passed yet for her to open it again. She was so completely wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice when Illyria took a seat at her table.

"Samara, are you ok?" samara looked up, slightly dazed as she was woken from her reverie.  
"Pardon?" she asked softly.  
"You were looking pretty intensely at that locket there for the last few minutes. I just came over to ask if you were alright." Samara looked back down at the unopened locket, a look of wistful longing on her face.  
"Forgive me, I was living in the past for a moment. Listening to our fellows baring their souls like this has me feeling... melancholy."  
"Something you'd like to share?"  
"No... but maybe it's something I should. A burden shared is a burden halved, as the saying goes."

Samara opened the locket, and a small holo projected out over her palm. It showed a family of five asari, all smiling at whoever had taken the holo. Illyria recognised Samara as the tall one in the back, a wide and genuine smile on her face. A smile that no-one on the _Normandy_ had ever seen. The one sitting down was of an adult age as well, and the other three looked young, younger that Liara, though not far from maturity, probably between 40 and 70 Illyria guessed. Samara turned her head away from the holo towards Shepard as she spoke.  
"You know of course, that I spent two centuries at the Armali opera, before leaving to find greater challenges. What I'm about to tell you is the real reason." She looked back at the holo again, fingers of her left hand reaching out as if to stroke the subjects.

"When I was at the opera, I met her, Tanareh," samara said, pointing to the seated asari. "She was in the audience one night, and somehow bribed her way backstage to my room. We had a very... passionate night. She left her number the morning after, and I called her back a few days later. We were both still in the maiden stage, so we were wild and carefree in our romance. After a few decades of casually seeing each other, we both hit the matron stage, and realised that we were right for each other. On the 50th anniversary of our first... meeting, we exchanged bracelets and bonded. After that was a nearly 150 years of love and happiness, which only increased with the addition of our daughters. First Mirala, then Rila and Falere," Samara pointed to each one of the younger asari in turn as she named them.

"And then tragedy struck our family. While I was on tour in Serrice, my family was involved in an accident. A freighter suffered a drive core failure while re-entering the atmosphere and crashed into a restaurant where my family was having lunch. There were 20 killed and another 30 wounded in the end. I got a visit from a police captain as I got to my dressing room that night. It was the lowest point in my life. That night broke me Shepard," she said quietly, shutting off the holo. "After that, I quit the opera and applied to the Justicars. I needed something to distract myself, to leave me so tired at night I wouldn't be able to feel or think or dream about my lost family. And for a time, it worked. Now, the only remnants of that past I hold are four graves on Thessia, and this locket." She looked back down at the locket as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She felt Illyria place a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Samara, I can't imagine what that must have been like. And thank you for telling me, I know that it must have been difficult. Now, I'm not saying that you should tell everyone, but maybe singing about your pain will help lessen it, even if only for tonight. And I think I have a good song for you." Shepard pulled up her omni-tool and found the song she was referring to, and transferred it over to Samara's. "You don't have to do anything Samara, but think about it." Samara nodded silently and looked over the sheet music Shepard had given her to peruse.

* * *

As Kelly handed over the microphone after coming off-stage from a hilarious rendition of a Marylin Monroe medley, Samara took it, the applause still dying down as she took to the stage. She walked over to the piano and sat down, fixing the microphone to the stand.  
"Good evening everyone," Samara said, her voice deeper and huskier than usual. "I'd like to dedicate the following song to some very special people." With that she closed her eyes, her fingers finding the keys and pressing them expertly. The melody soft and slow, and it brought a tear to more than one set of eyes in the audience.

_Am I Blue? Am I Blue?  
Ain't these tears in these eyes telling you?_

Though the initial response from a lot of people would have been laughter at the ridiculousness of an asari asking if she was blue, the haunting sadness of her voice stopped them. She sang it slowly in places, and faster in others, a testament both to the singer and the jazz origins of the song.

_Am I blue, you'd be too  
If your dreams like your schemes  
done fell through_

The sheer power of her emotions was shining through the song, reaching out to everyone in the audience and reminding them of a time in their lives when they had invested so much in something, only to have it taken away in the end.

_There was a time  
That I was her only one  
Now I'm the sad and lonely one_

Not a single person in the audience was unmoved as the music made them recall love lost. Either through time, or pain, or simply falling apart, they all recalled that feeling of loneliness and despair that is to particular to realising that love is painful sometimes.

_Oh yes I am, yes I am_

_Was I gay, until today  
Now she's gone, and we're through  
Am I blue_

As she held the last note, everyone in the audience looked down with tears in their eyes, and those lucky enough to have a partner there with them held hands and smiled sadly. Samara stood up without a word, tears falling freely down her cheeks. As she walked over to the wings she was intercepted by Shepard, who drew her into a comforting embrace. Though no words were spoken, when Samara lifted her head again she was smiling, if sadly.  
"Thank you Shepard. I needed this." She said, before walking offstage and towards one of the performer rooms the crew of the _Normandy_ had taken over.

* * *

**A/N: Hi all! So, this story is a little sadder, but also slightly funny (to me anyway). I wanted a song that had significant use of the word blue to be sung by an asari. Since Samara is an asari, and she needed something a little more to push her motivations, I came up with the accident killing her family while she was away. So this chapter is her way of dealing with the sadness of loss after so many centuries of trying to bury it. **

**Also, if you want to hear the cover that I used for inspiration for this song, look on youtube for either of these versions:**  
**Ray Charles - a classic jazz man, who puts his heart and soul into it.**  
**Kevin Conroy AKA the Voice of Batman - yes, Batman sings this song as part of a deal to save Wonder Woman from Circe. Does a good job of it too, if you take my word for it.**

**Also Also: no, I will not be doing 'I'm Blue' by Eiffel 65. Unless I'm drunk (or someone else is).**


	4. You're The One That I Want

After Joker and Vega pulled out a selection of hits from the old Broadway classic Spiderman: The Musical, Garrus and Tali approached the table where Liara and Illyria were sitting. The two dextros had already done all the work preparing the next song, they just needed to convince Shepard to join them.

"Shepard, how are you this evening. Sorry to hear about your lack of voice tonight Liara," said Tali as she stood next to the table. Liara smiled at Tali warmly, though Illyria felt a trap somewhere.  
"Liara, you look lovely tonight, and I'm sorry that you aren't able to sing your duet with Illyria tonight. Though perhaps the good Commander will consent to performing a duet with one of us?" he said, raising his voice so everyone else in the restaurant could hear. There was a chorus of affirmative shouts, and even one or two song suggestions, as well as thunderous applause. Illyria smiled, but her eyes stared daggers at Garrus as she stood up. She leaned in close, looking to everyone else like she was just shaking his hand, but in reality whispering in his ear.

"I know you are the one who put everyone up to this tonight Garrus, and I will find a way to punish you for it, make no mistake," she whispered sweetly into his ear, before leaning back to see the momentary look of horror on his face, before it was replaced with a turian smile.  
"Bring it," he whispered back as he took her seat and handed her the microphone. Tali was already pulling her back to the stage, so Illyria had no time have an input into the song choice before the bass guitar wielded by Steve Cortez was backed up by Joker's drum skills, a familiar beat rocking through her body, getting her into the mood. She took one look at Tali and knew that this song was less about the two of them, as it was about their partners. She actually smiled as the music came up to the first entry, and she knew she was the one who needed to start this.

"_I got chills,they're multiplyin'. And I'm losin' control_." Illyria shook her body theatrically as she sang, getting caught up in the exuberance of the song.  
"_'Cause the power you're supplyin'_." She stabbed a finger at Liara, who was blushing. "_It's electrifyin'!_"

Then Tali's voice came through, her sultry alto a perfect counter to Shepard's voice as she pointed directly at Garrus' chest.  
"_You better shape up, 'cause I need a man and my heart is set on you.  
You better shape up; you better understand to my heart I must be true_."  
"_Nothing left, nothing left for me to do,_" sang Shepard as they came into the chorus and the band on stage backed them up.

_You're the one that I want.  
(you are the one i want), o,o, oo, honey.  
The one that I want.  
(you are the one i want want), o,o,oo, honey.  
The one that I want  
(you are the one i want want), o,o, ooooo  
The one I need.  
Oh, yes indeed._

Tali and Shepard nodded at each other, descending back towards the table their respective partners were sitting at, before Shepard started the second verse. She looked deeply into Liara's eyes as she sang, placing a hand on the asari's, who brought it up to kiss while the human sang.

"_If you're filled with affection you're too shy to convey.  
Meditate in my direction. Feel your way_."

Tali handed the microphone over to Garrus, the turian easing into the song mini-duet with Tali.

"_I better shape up, 'cause you need a man_."  
"_I need a man who can keep me satisfied_."  
"_I better shape up if I'm gonna prove_."  
"_You better prove that my faith is justified_."

Garrus said the spoken like "Are you sure?", before Tali and Illyria once again took over with their singing voices, back to back and hands running down their sides.

"_Yes I'm sure down deep inside!_"

_You're the one that I want.  
(you are the one i want), o,o, oo, honey.  
The one that I want.  
(you are the one i want want), o,o,oo, honey.  
The one that I want  
(you are the one i want want), o,o, ooooo  
The one I need.  
Oh, yes indeed._

Once the song wrapped up, Shepard stood in silence as the restaurant applauded them. She smailed as she handed the microphone over to Tali and hugged Garrus like the old friend that he was.  
"Garrus," she whispered in his ear, her voice once again honeyed words to cover the bitter poison it conveyed. "I've figured out what your punishment for this little stunt tonight is going to be. And I think you'll agree, it's the worst thing I can think of to make you do." Garrus' eyes were wide with fear as he looked back to Illyria's face.  
"You don't mean?"  
"Yes, you've guessed it: calibrations for the soundroom!" If they were in any other company, the tall turian would have fallen to his knees and cried to the heavens in a way that would earn him golden statues in the awards ceremonies for his moving portrayal of a soul in utter anguish. As it was, he just smiled to cover his horror, walked calmly backstage to one of the rooms, and crumpled in an undignified heap.


	5. Last to Arrive, but certainly not Least!

Kasumi took the stage for the first time in the night, rocking a black sleeveless dress with a high collar matched with long black gloves and heels. She took the microphone off James Vega as he finished his set of classical Spanish guitar and gave everyone a dazzling smile.

"Good evening everyone, I hope you've been enjoying tonight's entertainment!" There was a smattering of applause, as well as a few cheers from the back. "Excellent, then let's continue, shall we. I'd like to dedicate this song to everyone currently in love. Jack, if you would," she said, half-turning to the tattooed pianist while the intro started. After a few bars of gentle piano playing, Kasumi started strutting her stuff around the stage, making sure everyone got a brief flash of thigh, a hint of cleavage or a coy yet bewitching smile.

"_I never feel a thing is real  
When I'm away from you  
Out of your embrace  
The world's a temporary parking place  
Mmm, mm, mm, mm  
A bubble for a minute  
Mmm, mm, mm, mm  
You smile, the bubble has a rainbow in it"_

There was laughter and smiles from the crowd as Kasumi hammed it up a little, but it was a very different mood between several characters backstage.  
"She's late," Samantha hissed to Garrus. The turian wasn't looking happy, while Tali was hurriedly typing away on her omni-tool, trying to get a connection to their missing guest.  
"I'm aware of that Samantha. Tali and I have been trying to get her in contact for the last hour, but she's not answering," Garrus replied.  
"Look, we all know that most of what has gone down tonight wouldn't have been possible without her, so how can she possibly be late to something she essentially instigated?" the exasperated woman asked in her thick Oxford accent. Garrus and Tali just gave Samantha a look that crossed all species divides, a look that said 'we are talking about the same person, right?' Sam just rolled her eyes.  
"Whatever, just try and find out just how long the rest of us have to stall for her, and if and when you do, tell her she owes us all bigtime."  
"I'm sure she's got a shot with your name on it," Tali replied irritably. "Sorry Sam," she apologised quickly, "but you're not the only one angry at her liberal interpretation of 'dinner time' right now."

Back on the stage, Kasumi had the audience eating out of her gloved hand.

"_It's only a paper moon, hanging over a cardboard sea.  
But it wouldn't be make-believe if you believed in me_.  
_Yes, it's only a canvas sky, hanging over a muslin tree  
But it wouldn't be make-believe if you believed in me."_

Kasumi was smiling like a kid in the candy store as she went over to a couple close to Liara and Illyria's table. She smiled at the turians seated there, placing his hand over hers as Jack played her solo interlude on the piano, before moving on to the anniversary couple as she moved into the final verse. The two turians were later quite touched when they opened their hands to reveal a small origami love heart had been slipped between them by Kasumi's magic touch.

"_Without your love it's a honky-tonk parade.  
Without your love it's a melody played in a penny arcade._

_It's a Barnum and Bailey world just as phony as it can be._  
_But it wouldn't be make-believe if you believed in me_."

As Kasumi walked back to the stage to a rousing ovation, backstage things were happening. Garrus was moving Joker, Vega and the rest of the Normandy big band because they had gotten confirmation that the long-awaited final member of tonight's little escapade was here. And none too soon, because closing time was rapidly approaching, even though Garrus knew he could probably sway the owner. After all, all she wanted in return for this opportunity tonight was an autograph for her daughter. A personal visit for the girl's birthday would probably get him a lot more. But right now, he was giving Kasumi the sign to come off. As she did, the curtain fell and he relayed the lighting cues needed to EDI and began to set the band on stage. He looked over to Tali in the wings for her to give him the go signal, and when she did, raised the curtains on the band. He was standing in the front, fedora pulled over his face to better impart the air of an announcer at a title fight. The band struck up a light but steady beat as he introduced the song and the singer with his hypnotic baritone voice.

"And now ladies and gentlemen – The Keeper of the Keys, the Countess of the Clink, the Mistress of Murderess Row, Matriarch Mama Morton!"

The main spotlight turned on to the figure who had timed her entrance at the front door to perfection. First, it was a flash of a long, stately leg clad in black heels, black stocking and a tight red dress split all the way to the hip. The followed a hand in a black glove, holding the end of a white fur stole. Then the sight of the most impressive rack this side of Omega, barely clad by a neckline that went down to her navel, showing off not just the impressively large and perky breasts, but also a firm, toned set of abs. Then the whole package came into view, and Matriarch Aethyta stepped into the restaurant fully, swaying her hips with dangerous sensuality in perfect time to the rhythm of the band on stage.

"_Ask any of the chickies in my pen  
They'll tell you I'm the biggest mother... hen  
I love 'em all and all of them love me  
Because the system works  
The system called reciprocity..._"

Aethyta's voice was a low and smoky drawl, perfectly suited to this type of raunchy, risqué song. And she knew exactly how incredible she looked tonight, and didn't waste a single moment as she stepped right into the part, teasing customers left, right and centre. A touch on the arm or cheek. Brushing seated patrons with her hip. Singing into the ear and giving anyone who cared to look a spectacular view of her boobs. Using her stole to play with people. In other words, throwing her sensual and sexual nature around like it was going out of fashion, and enjoying every second of attention it got her.

"_Got a little motto  
Always sees me through  
When you're good to Mama  
Mama's good to you._

_There's a lot of favours_  
_I'm prepared to do_  
_You do one for Mama_  
_She'll do one for you_."

She wandered through the assembled audience, more than one person, and more than a few couples, feeling curiously turned on at Aethyta's antics. The elder asari spied a human couple near the stage, and gave them a little bit of extra attention as she got to one of her favourite parts of the song. She leaned over their table, giving the man and the woman a good look at her body.

"_They say that life is tit for tat  
And that's the way I live  
So, I deserve a lot of tat  
For what I've got to give_."

As she sang the last line, she pressed her elbows together. Both of the human's eyes almost popped out of their skulls as Aethyta's tits were pushed into even greater prominence. Aethyta then relaxed her arms and gently stroked the pairs held hand.

"_Don't you know that this hand  
Washes that one too."  
When you're good to Mama  
Mama's good to you_!"

She took her hand that had been stroking the human couple's and then placed it on her neck, sliding it down the side of her body as she stretched and twisted to make the move almost dangerously erotic. But there were more people Aethyta hadn't yet corrupted, and she was going to be damned if she was going to waste the opportunity to do it now.

"_If you want my gravy  
Pepper my ragout  
Spice it up for Mama  
She'll get hot for you_

_When they pass that basket_  
_Folk contribute to_  
_You out in for Mama_  
_She'll put out for you."_

She found one particularly fun victim when the drell pulled out his chair from the table a little, gesturing none-too-subtly to his lap. Aethyta looked at him with a predatory smirk, sitting across his thighs and draping the stole around his neck.

"_The folks atop the ladder_  
_Are the ones the world adores_  
_So boost me up my ladder, Kid_  
_And I'll boost you up yours_

_Let's all stroke together_  
_Like the Princeton crew_  
_When you're strokin' Mama_  
_Mama's strokin' you"_

The way she moved and wriggled on his lap left everyone watching with the distinct impression that strip club dancers had nothing on Aethyta's ability to engender raw, primal lust at whoever she felt like, even when dressed like she was going to a high-society dinner. As she gave him a peck on the cheek and stood up, it was impossible for the drell to hide the rather impressive tenting of his pants that certainly hadn't been there before she had taken his 'seat.' She strode up to the band on the stage, giving each of them a little bit of a show as they worked up to the finale. Consummate professionals though, they didn't let the smoking-hot asari rattle them, at least not while they were playing.

"_So what's the one conclusion  
I can bring this number to?  
When you're good to Mama  
Mama's good to you!"_

As she came to the conclusion, she sat down on a the empty chair Garrus had brought to the stage. Liara and Illyria just stared in shocked silence at Aethyta, who was now breathing a little heavier after the last held note, almost every set of eyes in the room following intently as her fantastically presented breasts rose and fell.

"So, hey... yeah. I'm Aethyta, and I'm here tonight to congratulate my daughter for her anniversary. I know she's probably a little embarrassed right now," she looked over to Liara, whose cheeks were indeed a darker shade than usual. What she didn't know, but highly suspected given the way her eyes were open, the way she was sitting very straight and holding her human's hand very tightly, was that the blush wasn't entirely from embarrassment. "But I've never really cared about that. So I'd just like to say congratulations Liara and Illyria. You make a great couple, and I'm so very proud of you. I know your mother would be too. Now, if it's not too much to ask, when are you two going to stop screwing around and give me some grandkids to spoil rotten, huh?"

A peal of laughter rippled through the crowd at Aethyta's well-meaning, yet still entirely inappropriate way of getting her point across. The night was still young, and Aethyta had a lot of excitement to work off. Or possibly work up, judging from the looks her new favourite drell was throwing her direction, and the very appreciable size of the trouser bulge she had felt.

* * *

**A/N: Hi All!**

**Sorry it's been a while since this was updated. What can I say, I went on holiday and proposed, it takes slightly higher preference. Also, SWTOR is eating my time, it's really hard to put down some days. **

**Anyway, this scene, and a lot of the coming ones, has been inspired by a truly epic review/rant by the incomparable Dr Rex Greylin. So Doc, while not all of the songs you suggested will make it in, a lot of the choices have been inspired by your quite simply massive interest in this story. So a thousand thanks my friend. **

**Also, if anyone else can think of something hilarious in terms of characters singing songs, please let me know! You never know what might spark my inspiration some days!**


End file.
